Glossier

I have always heard about and seen ads for Glossier online and a couple of months ago I finally caved and bought a sample set of their products from their Black Friday sale and I loved it! I have used up 2 of the products already but the one I use the most and was only halfway used was their Cloud Paint in Storm. Dan was watching the baby and had him in the bathroom while he was getting ready and somehow the baby opened up my makeup drawer and grabbed my cloud paint, opened it, and squeezed it all out! I was equally impressed he could twist the top off for his age and sad that my only blush from Glossier that I really liked was gone. I immediately ordered another but while looking I noticed one cost $18 but 2 cost $30 so since I only have my NARS liquid blush I figured ordering 2 more wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I got this set in shades Storm and Spark.

Storm is described as a warm rose and I really like how it looks on. These cloud paints are super easy to blend and layer so even when I feel I put too much on I just keep blending with my fingers and get the right look.

Spark is described as a bright Poppy and this is a great spring/summer shade.

I just noticed the expiration date is 6 months from opening, eek! I have to use them up fast. Thankfully I only have a total of 3 blushes so it shouldn’t be too hard but 6 months means I am on a time crunch.

This is the shade Storm, I forgot I only need a very small amount of this blush
Thankfully it is a cream blush and blends so nicely so if I put too much it blends away
This was in mid April so it was still cold out
It really does go on so pretty and OMG this is the week I had an eye infection so I had to have steroid drops every four hours for over a week. Thankfully my eye is much better now but that’s why it looks weird here and my skin is dry, oh well

I really am impressed with Glossier and will be using Poppy soon, but probably won’t post that since who knew it could be so hard to take a selfie and I get tired of seeing my face.

Also with warmer weather finally coming to MN my phase of all oldies music is coming. I have been listening to all 60s Girl Bands and will be moving to other favorites like 50s Bands soon. I don’t have many good memories of my dad but a rare one is always during late Spring and Summer listening to Oldies music all day, every day. He would be out drinking and working in the garage and I would sit on the porch steps reading a book and he would blast all oldies music and sing so loud and occasionally I would join him and he would love when I knew the lyrics and could name the band or person who sang it. It never fails I play a Trivia game in my head when I hear an Oldies song and have to know who sings it, before the Shazam app existed it would drive me crazy if I didn’t know who sang the song. I showed my dad Shazam when it first came out and he loved it (we both did not like the free 5 song limit though lol) and every song he really liked we would Shazam it and then I would burn him a CD of all the songs he loved and we would have a little CD holder in the car with all his favorites so he could listen to them anytime he wanted. I am so happy I made those for him because they are now mine and on the rare days I begin to miss him I listen to them and smile and sing away thinking of him.

Mother’s Day Weekend

What an amazing weekend it was! On Friday I had a park playdate with my MOMS Club members with Scott and since my oldest gets home around 1pm I was able to take him to Cafe Latte while Dan watched the baby nap and after lunch we went on a nice walk around Summit Ave and then picked up my middle from Preschool.

On Saturday, Dan took me to a new restaurant we haven’t been to before called Pier Five Hundred and it was a lot of fun going somewhere new to us and then walking the Pier.

I just realized how boring we are because we always get a burger but I LOVE burgers
Walking the Pier was so nice, just talking and watching the boats go by, I was only missing a cup of coffee and it would have been heaven lol

On Sunday, Dan booked an amazing breakfast at Holman’s Table. I had been once before and mentioned how it was a pretty neat place right on an airfield and the food was good and Dan surprised me by going there and enjoying a really good breakfast and time together with the kids. I think this is the first time since the pandemic hit that the 5 of us have been out to eat together. We typically take one or two of the kids or we each take one of them out but not out as a family of 5 just us. It went way better than expected and we only had to leave early because it was Scott’s nap time so we asked for the dessert to go.

I love this time of year for all the beautiful colors and trees. There was this beautiful set of deep purple and pink color trees I had to take a picture of them.

This one is in front of our house, our crab apple tree. I love how it feeds all the birds, squirrels, and bunnies and it provides great entertainment for the kids to sit and watch.
My sweet cards from Dan and the kids
The kids picked out beautiful flowers
Sometimes I forget how well my boys know me. I love my newest earrings and they are so colorful, fun, and so ME!! I can’t wait to wear these around town
Funny, I had taken my oldest to the mall to show me some gym shoes he might want for his birthday and in passing I mentioned I wanted a new pink pair of shoes. I had bought Dan some slip on blue Vans just like these for Father’s Day that day and I love that he told Dan to get me matching ones because I LOVE matching!! I can’t wait for Dan to get his pair soon and we can go about matching everywhere ❤
I had also mentioned I wanted a new lipstick and love Laura Mercier and I only have 2 colors from this brand and LOVE IT! . Dan picked out this pretty “Fresh” color and even redeemed points for another favorite brand of mine, Charlotte Tilbury. Who is this guy and how did I get so lucky? I am happy I gave him my Sephora information many years ago so he can always log in and see what I have “loved” recently to buy it for me.
These are both a matte formula and go on so pretty and smoothly!
We know I love my Nespresso, but I can’t believe Dan got me this cup after I complained it was sold out online! Ahhh can’t wait to try my iced coffee in this!

I was very spoiled this weekend thanks to my family. They are so thoughtful and I feel very happy and blessed. Words cannot express how amazing this weekend was and today is Mexican Mother’s Day so more celebrating! Scott has his allergy test this morning so we will be busy trying to finally figure out what he is allergic to but it will take FOUR hours!! I don’t know how I am going to entertain him for so long but hopefully it isn’t as bad as I imagine it will be (eek!)

Belated Sephora Sale Post

My packages seem to have been delayed for awhile but I finally received everything I ordered.

I always love the 2 times a year Sephora has a sale for 15% off, for Rouge it is 20% and Insiders get 10%. It used to be 15% off in the Spring and 20% off in the Fall but they changed it and unless you are their highest tier Rouge you get different discounts. I do love Ulta’s point system way better but they don’t carry all my favorite brands so I tend to shop more at Sephora and Nordstrom for their sales and gift with purchases. I will say though since it is now over not to worry because all of the brands have their own websites and have way better sales than the Sephora Sale and much better samples. I have gotten a lot of makeup for 20-30% off just by being patient and signing up for all their brand emails for updates. I only really shop at Sephora twice a year to get VIB status and then shop elsewhere for better deals.

I laugh when I reminisce when I was younger and buying every LE item and whatever was trendy I had to have but now I know exactly what I love and will use so while I do like trying new things I mostly stick to favorites. I didn’t get too many new things and got a lot of rebuys this round.

  • Dior Airflash Spray Foundation retails $62 and with the sale it’s $52.70 + tax. Now this is my most luxurious and most expensive foundation and purchase. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this foundation! For the longest time I had wanted to try it but the price deterred me in case it didn’t work on my skin but when I had a chance to test it a couple of years ago at a Dior Trend Event at Nordstrom in Chicago I absolutely fell in love with it. I have very dry skin and this looks amazing on my skin. I have had a couple of friends with oily skin that say it doesn’t work for their skin, but for my dry skin it goes on so nice and stays on all day. In a normal year I would use 2 a year so both sale times I would buy one but this past year with no going out and even now not really doing many social things I use this once a week so 1 bottle has lasted me a year. It is finally running low so I am restocking it. I love pairing this with my Artis brush and it goes on so beautifully. I might do a review on this because I love it that much!
  • Ilia Super Serum Skin Tint SPF 40 Foundation retails $48 sale price $40.80 + tax. I have been wanting to be more green with my makeup (note I will not give up my Dior foundation but I do want to be more open) and I have heard Ilia is a good clean and green brand. I have their eyeliner and really like it so I saw this and figured this might be good for the summer when I don’t want to use my Dior foundation and this has SPF 40. I do love liquid foundations because they work best on my skin so I am excited to try this brand and hope I bought the right shade. I love that about Sephora though and their return policy so in case it doesn’t work out I can easily exchange for the right shade.
  • Charlotte Tilbury Mini Hollywood Flawless Filter retails $15 sale price $12.75 + tax. I own the full size version of this and it’s another love. It gives the perfect highlight and so easy to put on with my fingers and blend. I wanted the travel size version to keep in my bag when I need a retouch or travel.
  • Bite Beauty Lip Mask retail $26 sale price $22.10 + tax this was a purchase for Dan. I have tons of different lip masks but for some reason Dan loves just this one so since we recently ran out it was a rebuy that according to Dan will last a year, I guess we will see come fall for the next sale
  • Oribe Mini Gold Lust Nourishing Hair Oil retail $38 sale price $32.30 + tax. I have been wanting to try some hair oil for my tips for awhile and I love the smell of Oribe so I decided to try this and hope for the best
  • Hourglass Ambient Lighting Palette retails $64 sale price $54,40 + tax. When I first started to love makeup years ago my heart fell fast and forever for Hourglass. It is one of those brands that just works perfectly with my skin. Like everything from the line goes on amazing! I have had to cut down on so much makeup since I only have one face, but when I ran out of this palette in the winter I knew I would get it during this sale. It just gives the perfect glow. I have tried the Guerlain Meteorites Highlighting Powder Pearls and while that is also wonderful and I love the grandma smell of it, I can only buy one and Hourglass wins each time. I saw they have a Volume II but since I don’t have time during the week to go to the store and test it I will just stick with what I know and love.
  • Dae Prickly Pear Oil retails $36 sale price $30.60 + tax. My friend recommended this oil so I decided to give it a try and its one of those clean and green products that I am trying to buy more of so I figured why not. I have tons of hair so I know both hair oils will be used up in no time.
  • Jack Black Industrial Strength Hand Healer retails for $46 sale price $39,10 + tax. This is another Dan purchase. He swears by this hand cream whereas I swear by Vaseline lotion for a fraction of the price but he really does love this cream and I love “surprising” him twice a year with his favorite.
  • Milk Makeup Sunshine Tint Clean SPF 30 Foundation retails for $42 sale price $35.70 + tax. This was a very last minute purchase, I was scrolling through Instagram when I clicked on some random blogger and she was talking about loving the Ilia Foundation but then got the Milk foundation and loved that one more! So I wanted to compare for myself but she said the Milk one was a little thicker, more dewier, and had less SPF (Milk SPF 30, Ilia SPF 40.) Hopefully I got the right shade and can’t wait to test both out and the “clean” makeup brands.
This rollerball applicator is a tad intimidating
  • Sephora Favorites Clean me up Set retails $30 sale price $25.50 + tax. We are thinking about taking a trip soon so this had a couple of the things I like using in the summer but with perks of extras like the Ilia full size multi stick, This Set Contains:

– 0.5 oz/ 15 mL Supergoop! Glowscreen Sunscreen SPF 40 PA+++
– 0.17 oz/ 5 mL Kosas Kosasport LipFuel Hyaluronic Lip Balm in Rush (sheer, cool pink) (Full Size)
– 0.1 oz/ 3 mL tarte SEA Breezy Cream Bronzer in Seychelles (light-to-medium bronze)
– 0.15 oz/ 4/5 mL ILIA Multi-Stick Cheek & Lip in Dreamer (warm nude) (Full Size)
– 0.11 oz/ 3 mL Milk Makeup Vegan Milk Moisturizer
– 0.3 oz/ 10 mL Glow Recipe Papaya Sorbet Smoothing Enzyme Cleansing Balm & Makeup Remover

Overall, I am excited for my purchases and hope to get lots of use out of everything. May is one of my favorite months with Mother’s Day, Mexican Mother’s Day, and my oldest’s birthday so lots of celebrations and hopefully lots of using up this makeup. I also got a lot of samples and redeemed some points for the Urban Decay Glide on eye pencil and Ilia Mascara, hoping to like both.

This past weekend…

I typically don’t have many events but this weekend I had two!

Our first event was a circus theme fundraiser at a nearby farm. They had carnival games, a dance group, a tight rope person, an aerialist, some contortionists, and some good drink and eats. We had no idea what to expect but we had a blast!

We visited this photo op a million times lololol Thank goodness Dan always goes along with my antics and posed with me every single time
Dan was really good at this clown toss
You see those bullseyes? Those are mine!!! The blue ones on the floor are Dan’s lololol He tried all night to get bullseye but never could, good thing he has me 🙂
The tight rope person was so good! And the food truck was right through those doors

The next event a friend hosted a Kentucky Derby party and it was a lot of fun dressing up and learning about the Derby itself.

A friend let me borrow her fascinator and it was so cute! Heavy but adorable!
I haven’t had my nails done in over a year so it was nice to do something fun but simple

May is so busy this year and I love it! I can’t wait for the coming weeks with my son’s birthday, Mother’s Day, MOM Club events and warmer weather it looks like it is going to be great!

Scott

My littlest boy and baby is 1! Where did the year go?! I don’t really post on Facebook because I get annoyed seeing certain people post a million times every milestone their kid does so I will gush once here for all of my kids on their birthdays.

My little Scottie, is honestly the most pleasant baby I have had. My oldest and him are very similar, they are both sweet, kind, they don’t fuss, and both independent. But little Scottie definitely has come into his own. He is my most mischievous baby and likes to figure things out himself. It is funny to think how you hear the saying all baby’s are different but they truly are even from brothers. Scott has finally started to toddle and walk around everywhere. My oldest started walking at 9 months, the middle at 10 months, and Scott at 11 months. Maybe because he is my last I think everything he does is just the cutest. My oldest spoils him with so much attention and has labelled himself his second father and while I love that I can see that hurts my middle a lot and I try talking to my oldest about it but they are like oil and water and hopefully with time will not only be brothers but best friends.

Anyways, Scott has been such a pleasure to have since the minute he was born. He has slept through the night since 6 months and even before in the first months would sleep 5-7 hours a night and it was at 5 months he started to wake up more so we decided to sleep train him and it was the best decision ever because it literally took 3 days and now he sleeps from 8pm-7am sometimes 8pm-8am. He enjoys trying all food at least once, but since we found out about his allergies we have slowly introduced new foods except peanut butter. He has his allergy test in May so I look forward to finding out what exactly he is allergic to because they said egg and banana and he has been eating both a lot with no reaction. I always have the epi pen on hand though just in case because you never know but I do let him try everything I am eating.

I sometimes panic during the days that I missed a milestone or that he did something new. I never cared for time moving fast when I was younger but now I would give anything to make it slow down. Scott has brought us so much joy and I see myself evolving into a different type of mom with him. With my oldest he just wants attention and loves our one on one brunches, my middle thrives on keeping busy with some activity and taking him to a museum and if he would have it his way I would just drop him off as he goes around asking the workers questions and me just picking him up later but he is 5 so that is not happening anytime soon, but Scottie, my little cutie. He loves being independent and he is just so chill and content in everything. At night he loves loves loves cuddling. This is new to me since both my other kids aren’t much of cuddlers except on rare days so when Scott cries for me to come down from the couch and just curls up next to me it is heaven on earth. He lets me play with his hair and as he drinks his final bottle of the night he just loves me staring at him. It has become a nice little ritual before Dan gives him a bath and does his routine with him.

I wonder what 1 will bring this year, this summer will be interesting and I am ready for it! I am so excited to have my 3 boys and I love and definitely will cherish this time.

We didn’t really get Scott a lot of gifts because he has so many hand me down toys so we bought 2 new toys and from everyone else that wanted to get him a gift we suggested a book and money to be deposited into his bank account. The 2 things we did get him are pretty neat and I can see my middle playing with them too. He likes to “test” everything for the baby. My oldest gets really annoyed with him about that because he wants Scott to try everything first then let the middle play and this always leads to fighting so it should be interesting to see how this goes tonight when we “open gifts.”

The 2 things we got him were a Foldable, Sliding, and Climbing Triangle thing and a Wooden Balance Board. Dan hasn’t finished building it yet so I hope he finishes up today or at least soon so they can play.

We don’t eat a lot of cake at home and since we aren’t having a party until the summer, we bought a small chocolate cake for tonight. Hope he loves it!

I grew up loving the Chicago Bulls, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen were Kings in our eyes but I also loved watching the Orlando Magic and Penny Hardaway and Shaq (my first dog’s name was Penny because I just loved him so much.) I was only too excited to have my friend make this onesie jersey for me. We have a tradition in our household that whatever age you are turning we get a matching jersey or t-shirt with a famous player and that number. Scottie turning 1 was easy, Hardaway all the way and Derrick Rose’s Chicago Bulls onesie I had to have! I love them so much! I am going to change him into his Bulls onesie later today 🙂

May

I love May so this month will consist of a lot of things I love! I will try to be more diligent in posting and I will be including makeup, clothes, and favorite things I like doing in Minnesota.

First up is having random dates with Dan, he is so good about randomly scheduling me in his day for breakfast or brunch one time during the week. Sometimes we bring the baby sometimes our oldest watches him. Either way I feel so lucky and happy to have our time with him. Anyways, we recently went to a restaurant called Cafe Latte in St. Paul and it was delicious! (Side thought, I am sad it has taken us so many years for us to venture out into the cities because the street Grand has so many great options! We are trying to make an effort to try all the restaurants on the block this year.)

The restaurant is set up cafeteria style so we ordered a salad sampler first then went to the other side for their pizza. Their pizza is so good not thin, not thick, but just right in the middle and so crispy and fresh. It did take a bit for the pizza to come out but nothing crazy since it is all done made to order. We ate our salad and right when we finished it the pizza came out. We then ordered coffees and a slice of their cheesecake. In my Facebook foodie group everyone always recommends their cheesecake and yes it was delicious but I still love a different restaurant’s more…

We also went to a different restaurant a couple of weeks ago called Cafe Astoria. I frequent this one and take the kids often during the week because they love it. My oldest especially loves their strawberry and Nutella crepe with a smoothie of whatever he is craving. My middle loves their hot chocolate and loves all the crepes and the baby is so cute and eats whatever we put in front of him. This time though I was able to get a date with Dan so we got a savory crepe and a sweet crepe with a smoothie and their 24k Latte.

The last place I will mention is a local favorite and one we frequent a lot because the food and atmosphere is just always so much fun, Cravings Wine Bar. We found this place by chance and when we get an opportunity to head out for somewhere quick I always suggest this place.

The thing I love most about going out with Dan is we always share a meal so I get to taste more of everything lololol but with that means I have to eat things Dan likes. He loves chicken and spicy things so I know he compromises with me and my love of meat. The only thing he won’t eat is fish but that’s ok, he also likes his meat well done which is hard for me sometimes like when we order steak, but that isn’t often so even though this burger was well done it was still very tasty.

I am very excited to see what new places May brings us 🙂

Memories #2 (Death)

Recently, Dan’s dad passed away and unlike my dad he was an amazing dad. Dan is such a wonderful man and it is really thanks to his great upbringing and one of a kind parents. His dad’s death made me remember my dad’s and I still remember my dad’s funeral and feeling really numb. People were talking about him as if he were this great person and I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone because growing up he was anything but amazing. I would pray everyday when I was little for my parent’s to divorce, my dad to die, or me to die. Someone had to go but none of us did. I had this constant guilt about feeling these things because you weren’t suppose to want to wish death on someone so I would wish it upon myself and then feel guilty about that and then go to confession and tell the priest everything I was feeling only to be “forgiven” and say my 5 Our Father’s and 5 Hail Mary’s and the vicious cycle would always begin. My dad while being a terrible father was an amazing grandfather. He loved being a grandfather and spoiled the kids with all this attention he never gave us growing up. While I did forgive eventually and distance did make the heart grow fonder I still sometimes get flashes of anger remembering everything. Anyways, this isn’t about him but just random memories of death in my life

  1. My first story begins with this girl we will call X, this happened my Junior year of high school (another scandal.) She was always really complicated and sensitive. She would be very two face too and no matter how much I tried to get along with her I just couldn’t. We are all fighting that good fight in life and some of us show it and some don’t. I didn’t show it and she did and she made sure everyone knew it and everything about everyone’s business. It would drive me crazy. Anyways, her grandmother died that summer I think going into Junior year and I sent her my condolences and told her I would keep her in prayers which I did but that’s it. I never met my grandparents on my dad’s side and both my grandparents on my mom’s side died in 1st Grade so I didn’t really know what to say or how to act. There was also the case that while I felt terrible she was really sad I was also sad maybe jealous her grandmother got to die and I didn’t. I was severely depressed and had lots of mental disorders and no help but how could I admit that I was jealous that her grandmother was dead and not me?! I obviously couldn’t because I didn’t share anything then and it sounds crazy and sick even now. Junior year came and I had a great group of friends and a crush that I adored. He was so nice and would often sit next to me on the bus for our architecture class field trips during Sophomore year. He asked if I was going to the Homecoming Dance and of course I was but with my friends and he said to save him a dance. I was giddy beyond anything and thankful I saved my whole summer job checks for a new wardrobe and I specifically picked a great outfit for this night. I wore these awesome black pants, red top and my first high heel black boots. I knew I looked good, depressed I was but also knew I was beautiful. We all got ready at my friend Michelle’s house and drove in 2 separate cars to the dance at our high school gym. I was of course super nervous to see my crush and also to add I am a terrible dancer (still am.) Prior to this dance I did go to all the other dances but that was to be out of the house and I was a wallflower and would sit on the benches and just watch people and talk to my friends. So we get to the dance and I don’t see my crush so I dance awkwardly with my friends and of course gossip the night away. I leave to go to the bathroom and when I come back who do I see, my crush and X grinding up on each other. Now at the time she was part of my 7 girl group aka 7 girls that we had all known each other since Freshmen year and have gone to each other’s houses and knew basically everything about each other. She knew how much I adored him and all the girls knew I was finally going to confess my feelings for him that night. Like there was without a doubt she knew I liked him so much after all this time over a year and I finally got the courage to tell him but no this B came and danced with my guy. Had it been any other girl outside of my 7 girl group I wouldn’t have cared as much I mean it was my fault for waiting over a year to tell him I liked him and I would have chalked it up as fate and just not being the guy for me, but she knew! She knew I liked him so much how could she? All my friends were shocked, they all knew I liked him and I had to watch and bite my tears away because this B who I didn’t even really like but was forced to be friends with her because of the other girls was stabbing me in the back. Ughhh the agony! Needless to say I didn’t get to dance with my crush and when they made eye contact I waved like an idiot with a smile on my face as my heart was breaking about the betrayal. After the dance it was agreed a group of us would go to this restaurant called Bennigans to get a late dinner. Little did I know this would be one of those crazy dinners that lives on in my friends group memory forever. We get there, we eat, we are paying the bill and then X just snaps! Thank God I was at the other end of this big table so I didn’t know what was going on nor did I care, but she starts yelling at everyone about everything. She yelled at Michelle for “using her for her car” she yelled at Ida for something and then she got to me (ummm what?) she goes on and on how I didn’t properly show I was sad and grieve with her about her grandma and what a terrible friend I was! The irony of this B to call me a bad friend, I sometimes wish I could go back in time to defend myself and tell her exactly how I felt and what a terrible person she was not just in my life but everyone’s, I just sat there shocked instead. She said other crazy things but I can’t remember too well and it was a night of lots of tears and lots of sadness. The next day that we had school she immediately apologized to Michelle (she was and is forever the leader of our group) me and Ida waited awhile for ours, Ida got hers a couple of weeks later and I got mine months later. I could never really forgive her though and while we weren’t the best of friends before this we certainly were not friends after and more like acquaintances. I completely closed myself off to her and I blamed myself for not listening to my intuition when I had the chance. Had she just told me she wished I could be there more for her or something I would have, I didn’t even think we were that great of friends why would she want me there. I always saved my tears for my pillow prior to this so did she want me to fall on my knees and cry? It was all so confusing and I wish this drama on no one. I do wonder what did she exactly feel to behave this way, it couldn’t just have been about her grandma dying, I mean she literally snapped. She was always dramatic though and the littlest things would make her snap and it really was like walking on eggshells being with her. I am thankful to have met her though because she reminded me a lot of that 4th grade girl so it was a great reminder to always watch my back. We are still acquaintances to this day and I am happy she isn’t in my life a lot. The stories I hear about her are still the same, two face, back stabbing, always the victim, and bad crazy, I keep telling my friends to drop her like she is hot but she is a stage 5 clinger and just forces friendships. Whatever, I can breathe happily she can’t talk about me since she doesn’t know anything about me.
  2. I should preface this story by saying that if you know me you know I can fall asleep every where and any where. I instantly can knock out walking, standing, on the floor you name it I can fall asleep. At one point I thought I was narcoleptic but I am not because I know when I am going to fall asleep and just need something to drink, talk to, eat and I can wake up. I also hate driving, I am not only a terrible driver, I also fall asleep! I am use to taking the CTA, public transportation and in retrospect I definitely should not have ever fallen asleep on that but better that than in a car. Anyways, this story is about the last time I drove alone and late at night. I was driving home from a study session in college. I was in Jefferson Park and had to take the highway to get back home to Logan Square. I was so exhausted after studying but knew if I didn’t come home my parents would kill me. I called my friend to keep me awake but she fell asleep on me so I had to drive most of the way home alone. I get off my exit California. I was awake and thinking yes! Just have a couple of lights and I am home! WRONG!!! I remember stopping at the light California and Diversey, next thing I know I am on the sidewalk opposite of the way I was driving and no damage to the car!! I instantly wake up and drive to move back to the other side of the street when off goes the driver’s side mirror. I make it to the other side and once home cry so hard calling myself the biggest GD hypocrite because here I almost died and when I get the chance I pray I don’t die and then cry tears of happiness that I am alive. This would also be the last time I ever had suicidal thoughts. It is weird how that happens, you pray for something so long and opportunity strikes and you chicken out and think no I am not ready. I will post a picture below to try to describe how the car went to the other side. I should also add I didn’t get in trouble with my parents. Once I composed myself I drove back to the area where the mirror flew off and picked up the pieces and the mirror. I then drove back home parked and imagined how it would look if a car was driving down the street and hit the car mirror and it flew off that way. So I scattered the pieces and the big mirror piece and when my parents woke up the next morning my dad was furious but with no one to blame he went to get it fixed and I didn’t get in trouble. Years later, Dan would park on my street and he had a car hit him and his mirror was taken off and I remember when we saw the car all I could do was laugh and laugh because it the scene looked exactly how I had set it up for my parents to find years before. What are the odds right?

I cannot tell you how many times I have walked and of course driven by this area my whole life and especially after this crazy incident to try to make sense how I ended up on the opposite side of the street and not hit anything I mean nothing while I was asleep. How did the car fit in between the space from the house and trees perfectly. Like how?!!! The scientist in me constantly tries to make sense of it all, was it luck, was it perhaps my subconscious directing me since I have driven down this street a million times, was it God? I mean I don’t know. The Catholic in me obviously believes God saved me to see the error of my ways and wake up and be glad and rejoice I am alive but I can’t help but to question why. Anyways, I am alive and even though it took me even years later to really appreciate the good in my life I have loved living since and especially now.

It’s weird speaking to Dan the other day and him wanting to move because every couple of months he gets the urge to just leave the Midwest and everything behind and I recently reminded him how much I love living here and how I truly feel we will look back at this time without many friends or family and just each other and say these were the best times of our lives. Just him, me, and the kids figuring everything out ourselves, failing, laughing, and learning. I love it! I love my suburb, I love my family, I love my life here and having the luxury of being able to stay home with the kids and take them everywhere they want to go. I sometimes wish I could hug little Janet and tell her every tear, every heartbreak, even every wish of not existing and feeling so alone was well worth it to be where I am today. Nothing could have prepared me for this, I could never dream to be where I am at now and it feels like I am just beginning to live.

Weekend

If you know me you know I am a very eccentric, manic, bipolar, with very eclectic taste in everything, and I am basically a walking contradictory. Up is down and down is up in my world. So I always find it so nice when I meet new people who can keep up to my speed of thoughts and not be so judgy about how I am. This past weekend I got to spend it with 2 very good friends I have made in MN.

On Friday, I said good bye to one of them as she moved to find herself and happiness. She said she will come back but who knows. Anyways, we decided to meet up and get breakfast. I originally wanted to take her to Cafe Astoria but it was closed for remodeling so I took her to Hope Breakfast Bar, we got Bloody Mary’s and I got a delicious Pork Belly with a Biscuit and cheesy grits. Pictures of it look gross but OMG it was delicious and I love when Pork Belly is extra fatty and it was cooked just right. We spent most of the morning and afternoon together and then said our good byes.

The next day my friend asked if I wanted to go to the mall to restock on coffee at the Nespresso store so of course I went. The mall didn’t have many sales or deals so after we shopped we ate at the Nordstrom Grill since other places were packed and she craved a salad. I am not normally a big salad person but we shared the Cilantro Lime Shrimp salad and the Salmon salad and both were very tasty. Later that night she invited me and Dan to join her and her husband at a local pizza place and we got some drinks and apps. It was a lot of fun and makes me thankful I have a couple of friends I can always call to hang out with and we aren’t really that lonely here.

Yes more salad
A tad blurry but we are terrible picture takers so this is the best we can get lolol

Earrings

Every since I can remember I have loved Edie Sedgwick. With her amazing style and love of huge earrings there was always something special about her. Along with loving her, Andy Warhol and the Velvet Underground were of course favorites especially during college. I regret not keeping a lot of my earrings from those days because they really were very similar to hers. Now, at this phase in my life I still adore earrings but prefer them to be light weight and cute. Target has had some great ones with their Sugarfix x Bauble Bar partnership. Gone are my days of going to thrift stores and making a beeline for their jewelry and now I play it safe with Target lolololol.

I think I can finally wear my bigger earrings again without the baby pulling them so I am organizing all the ones I want to wear this Spring and Summer. I am sure I will add more but these will do for now. Easter came and went so fast I can’t keep up with time. Tomorrow I am meeting up with one of my friends that is moving to Florida and I am really sad about it since she is one of those special people that you really don’t meet often in life. Hopefully she moves back but that’s selfish because I do want her to find her happiness but wish we could have spent more time together.

Memories #1 (grade school)

These are just random memories from my childhood that I don’t want to forget

  1. I got my very first “boyfriend” in 4th grade. It was this boy who was always following me around and asking to be my boyfriend since 2nd Grade. I was so happy and excited, it was ill fated though because if he ever called my house my brothers would always make it impossible for him to speak to me on the phone and at school I was super shy and worried about my grades so I couldn’t really focus on him during the day or night. But during recess and a game of girls against boys or vice versa we would always chase each other. I was sad because I never even got to hold his hand! The breakup was my first scandal of my life as there would be many lolololol. See, there was a new girl that transferred to our very small private Catholic school in 3rd grade (note- I was only able to go to private school because I was on a scholarship and my mom paid $50-$100/month still a lot of money but she worked a lot so I could go there.) The new girl was easily forgettable and not a lot of people liked her. It was weird because our grade was small we all pretty much got along but there was always whispers of her. Anyways, 4th grade came and she ended up being in the same class as my “boyfriend,” there were 2 4th grade classes that year. Her mom would reach out to my mom about ice skating lessons for me and I never really understood why. My mom got so annoyed she admitted “we cannot afford for Janet to go ice skating or get lessons so she can’t go.” Well the ice skating rink had a new program get 3 lessons for $10, skate rental was extra. My mom asked if I wanted to go and of course I did, anything to get out of the house and this girl’s mom agreed to pick me up and drop me off so my mom said yes. My first lesson went well, the other girl had been ice skating for years so she had a cute outfit and a private skating lesson so afterwards she showed off her new skills. The 2nd time, the other mom asked if I wanted to get a hot dog, ummm yes please. We went to this great hot dog stand off Elston near Irving Park. Who knows if it is still there but the day I got it that hot dog still is the best hot dog I have ever had in my life. It was also the first time I had a full Chicago style hot dog since before it was only ketchup for me but I didn’t want to be annoying so I said I would have it with everything, life changing. And omg the fries were amazing too and it was all for $1.50. The other girl got a coke and I wanted one desperately but I didn’t want to push my luck further so I got a water. Anyways, during the meal the other girl was acting really weird and asking me all these questions about my “boyfriend” it was very strange. She kept talking about him while her mom sat silently listening and I thought that was weird too. I don’t know what it was but something was off. The next day I saw my “boyfriend” and her whispering to each other during church and that was also weird as I had never seen them talk to each other before and all the girls in my class pointed it out to me so I knew I wasn’t crazy. The final ice skating lesson she acted like she hated me and her mom was mean too so after those lessons ended I didn’t continue ice skating or really talk to the girl again. My “boyfriend’s” calls came less and less and no more him chasing me during recess also ended as he said he was tired and couldn’t. The girl then tried to start rumors about me in our grade but of course with such a small community no one could believe her. My friends and peers knew I couldn’t go out because my parents were super strict and most things I just couldn’t afford. But this girl started to say I was stealing! Yes, I was poor but I would never steal. To this day stealing is high up there on the things I despise most about people. Then she started to say I was bulimic like WHAT?!!! I didn’t even really know what that was and granted she was on the heavier side I would never even think of a eating disorder for anyone let alone myself since I know I was sickly thin but that was because I didn’t have a lot of food at home not by choice!!! She just became cruel and finally my “boyfriend” broke up with me. It was all sudden and via a note, I said fine whatever I mean what could I say, I was never a beggar and clearly neither one of us was putting work into this fake relationship so fine but the very next day him and this chick were holding hands during recess!!! OMG the embarrassment, like what a slap to reality and to see how some girls truly are at the tender age of 9/10. This girl friended me, begged her mom to talk to my mom to get close to me to get to my “boyfriend” I mean WOW. The trouble she went through and the crazy calculated moves she did. It was really good and I have to give her credit. It was a huge scandal because none of us could believe a person like her existed. Their relationship didn’t last long and they both transferred by 5th grade. It was crazy and sometimes I do think about them and wonder where they are, I can’t remember their last names so I can’t even Facebook stalk but it is probably for the best. My bestie Laney still brings it up to this day because again we cannot believe she played us so well. I didn’t have another relationship until high school after this one.
  2. In 2nd grade, I met a lot of memorable people, I met my very best friend Laney, my first “boyfriend,” my first crush, and this kid J. Laney will have her story another day but she is by far the sweetest, funniest, most thoughtful, one in a trillion, most naive, etc person I have ever met. She is basically the best person I have ever met and I am so thankful I met her in second grade. My crush was this cute kid that played the accordion and he would make periodic pop ins in my life. He and my first “boyfriend” were best friends and went to this thing called “Rainbow Club” it was a club where once a week a group of kids whose parents were divorced or if the family practiced a different religion got to go to during religion class. It was really awesome and I was so jealous I never got to go. They always made the most amazing crafts. One time in 2nd grade my crush wrote me a letter in that class and gave it to me when he got back. He basically confessed his crush on me and I was so happy! When I flipped it to the other side he wrote a letter to his best friend aka my first “boyfriend” telling him what a great friend he was and even though at the time I never told anyone who I liked, it felt weird because I liked both boys but obviously my crush the most. It was a sad day that first day of 3rd grade and finding out he transferred schools hence how I became a “couple” with the other kid in 4th grade. This was my peak in relationships until I turned 17 and got my first kiss. I do have other grade school stories but I can’t remember them too well at the moment. Anyways, there was this kid I will name J. He had almost black hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. He was quite a looker, but you knew something was different about him. Somehow I ended up sitting next to him and he would do the craziest things. He would staple his fingers to get reactions from kids, we would compare our abusive dads a lot, he always brought in dead bugs, and loved picking his boogers to wipe on people. It was so weird to me to see someone so handsome be so crazy. I never could place my finger on him because some days he would be so nice and lend me his pencil or eraser and other days he would be stapling his fingers away wiping blood on my desk. No one lasted long sitting next to him so the teacher would keep me as his partner since I never gave him a reaction he didn’t do the stuff as much with me around. I often wonder where he is, I hope he turned out ok. He didn’t come back after 2nd grade but he definitely left a memorable impression. He wasn’t evil he was just off and needed love. I asked Laney about him the other day and she couldn’t remember him at all! I had to show her his picture and she vaguely remembered him but didn’t remember him being crazy. I guess he just lives on in my memory until I have another grade school reunion where I can ask those friends about him.
  3. My last story for the day consists of my 1st Grade teacher. She had an amazing voice and would often sing in Church and we all loved her. She was so young and pretty and always smelled of perfume and hairspray. She was really nice except and this is where it gets weird during story time the kids would sit on the floor and she would sit in a chair and then have a kid massage her neck and back as she read the story. I hated being picked but as little kids we all wanted that attention from the teacher but I always found it so odd touching a person that wasn’t my family. I learned to rub really hard and pinch down so she would make me switch with someone else so I didn’t have to rub her back. She quit mid year to move to Nashville and pursue her singing career and we never heard of her again. Shame because she was a very popular teacher but probably for the best with those weird massages.